Helpful McHelpfulpants

As a poem, it's not a bad poem; there are some surprisingly nice turns of phrase, and hints of deeper meanings, la dee da, perhaps not intentional but then reading ...

Thank you! Might have to work on the coherence a little. (Sorry about your feet. XD)

Memorize a box of pictures Polaroids, ill exposed Dated haircuts and specks of sunlight Captured in tender observation. I read the first three lines, pleased but not too impressed, and ...

We can pass for undersized cynics in pants but naked, oh, naked we are such children I can't meet your eyes. You, with your hands cupped protectively over your lips, ...

Hannah? I love you. I realize this isn't news. But anyway. Edited!

When you get home from work tonight you're so tired your hands have finally stopped shaking, which is kind of a bitch since you went to all the trouble of ...

It occurs to me that I didn't think to save the revised version as well. *facepalm* Next time.

Sometimes I dream barnacle dreams, and sleep uneasily on my back, nerves insisting that I should be stuck to damp wood, though I've never pressed my skin against a ship's ...

BUT MY PRECIOUS ANONYMITY WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT IT

fuzzyhead – it looks like you just woke up, griping, stripping up through the layered slumber, exiting like a baby. This stanza. I adore it. I think I'd prefer bedhead ...

Thank you both! Edits have been made, Lauren; although I didn't agree with all your changes, I did agree with most.

HASTY CLUMSY EDITS YAY!

Thick ...sighs, So, I have to say, I do not understand the first line here. The ladled rust asphalt with sighs, specifically. As in the ladled rust (nom nom nom ...

When he returns from the kitchen, the fog has shifted. Light is filtering in through the high plate-glass windows of the dining room, bright but watered down like ink or ...

The idea of this is pretty brilliant, and there are some lovely, lovely lines. But I did find myself, at the end, wishing for more concrete imagery - something beyond ...